Sad Day

Rest in Peace, John Hughes

Thank you for understanding.

Confessions of a Shopaholic & Get Smart

"I love new clothes. If everyone could just wear new clothes everyday, I reckon depression wouldn’t exist anymore."

- Sophie Kinsella, Confessions of a Shopaholic

Recommended Tea: The Republic of Tea's Get Smart

A genre exists in the book world that causes universal division. It is both loved and hated, praised and put down, and that genre has been dubbed "Chick Lit." Now, I am usually not one for "Chick Lit" books (did you miss that post on Twilight?). I picked up White Oleander (which I have heard is the queen of chick lit books) and at first I thought "This writing is beautiful!" After what felt like billions of pages later, I felt like I needed to see a shrink and quickly. In the bookstore where I work, most people ask for chick lit books than anything else. "Do you have the new Phillipa Gregory book?" "Where is Twilight?" "Where are your Nicholas Sparks books?" Usually we roll our eyes in the inside, and smile on the outside.

One morning on one of my days off, I was youtube surfing and found that the whole movie Confessions of a Shopaholic had been uploaded (and it will probably be pulled right about... now). So I grabbed myself a cup of coffee, some snacks, and sat down to enjoy the free new release.

It was cute! I can get behind cute. I also think that Isla Fisher is a brilliant comedic actress. I liked the movie so much, in fact, that it made me roll on over to the bookstore and pick up a copy.

Guess what? The book is absolutely nothing like the movie - it's about a billion times better. I've read other reviews that have called the book shallow and its heroine vapid, but this only leads me to believe that they have never experienced (dun dun duuuun) Shopaholism.

What I was an itty bitty girl, my family started going through some very serious stuff. If we had a particularly rough day, my mother and I could usually find a solution - shopping. We'd head on over to the local mall, pick up an Auntie Anne's pretzel, and go to work. Jewelry, posters, shoes, clothes - the sky was the limit. It was absolute bliss. You truly felt like that shiny new shoe, that unrolled Hanson poster wrapped in plastic, that new pair of American Eagle boot cut jeans would make your whole world turn upside down, make all of your problems vanish, and create a new, shiny life for you.

Unfortunately, like alcoholism, the high only lasts for so long. You get your shiny new thing home, put it in the closet or on the wall, and then... boom. The shopping hangover. But what's the best cure for a hangover? "A hair from the dog that bit you." SO, the next day, it's off to the mall again.

This problem snowballed as I grew older. When I got to college, not only was it clothes and posters, it was food, coffee, and most of all - BOOKS. There was always some reason that I NEEDED to buy these things. I need coffee so that I can study. I need good food so that I will be alert. I need new clothes so that I will look put together and smart. I need this book so that my grades will improve. Every month when my credit card statement arrived was a battle. Me, looking at the huge total that seemed completely unreal, and then going into defense mode. "I HAD to buy this! I HAD to spend that money! I needed it! I had no choice!"

Fast forward a few years to now. After graduating from college, becoming financially independent, and marrying the love of my life who was also a college graduate planning to save up for grad school, I knew that some financial changes would be in my future. I also knew that the man I was about to marry was super practical and super thrifty (not to mention super dreamy). BUT, that didn't stop me.

"Honey, I NEEDED this! I had no choice! I need new clothes for work! I need to be able to eat lunch!" Blah Blah Blah!

Being a shopaholic doesn't just hurt your wallet. It can also hurt your relationships. My dreamy husband made sacrifice after sacrifice to support my addiction. Several tears and very long credit card statements later, after trying desperately to justify, defend, and most of all hide my habit, I realized that something needed to change. This happened... oh... say... last week?

This is what I loved the most about Confessions of a Shopaholic and why, unlike Twilight, I think there is some real value here. Becky Bloomwood is a human being. We are allowed to live inside her head and meld our minds with hers (for me it wasn't that hard). But, despite her shopping weakness, she is a funny, talented, smart, resourceful, independent, confident woman. And what does she inevitably do? She uses her strengths, her convictions, and her MIND to solve her problems. She has support from her friends and her family, but really it is Becky Bloomwood alone who picks herself up off the ground, realizes that she has to stop making excuses and confronts her problems. She doesn't need anyone else to do it for her.

And she does just that! She is able to pick herself up, dust herself off, and recover. She grows. She flourishes. She creates a new life, a new mind, for herself. She has weaknesses AND strengths, and we are able to see both in a completely honest, real way.

I love Becky Bloomwood. I can relate to her. And if she can do it, well dammit, so can I.

Hey! Look at these!

• Make a basket out of all of those old shopping bags. Crafty, cute, AND resourceful!
  
• Are you a shopaholic? Turns out, 1 in 20 people are.
  
• Sophie Kinsella's website

See Sophie Kinsella show off her "Shoe-seum" below

Twilight & Om

"Women have served all these centuries as looking glasses possessing the magic and delicious power of reflecting the figure of man, at twice its natural size."

— Virginia Woolf

Recommended Tea: Tazo's Om Tea

(because if you're like me, you'll need something to calm you down after you're done with Twilight)

I work in the kids department at a bookstore. "Kids" doesn't just mean Eric Carle and Dr. Seuss - it also includes the "Young Adult" section - Tamora Pierce, Sarah Dessen, and (shortly after I started working here) Stephenie Meyer. I began my job at the bookstore a few months before Twilight hit the big screen. My first week there, I shelved two carts of Twilight books. That's two FULL carts of just Twilight.

My first thought was, "Geez, this Stephenie lady is rolling in the dough."

My second thought was, "What the crap is this series and what makes it so popular? And why can every book in this series also function as a door stop?"

Seriously, we had so many of these things, and they were so brick-like that I literally constructed a house out of them when we ran out of shelf space. "Just build something with them," my boss said.

"OH," said one of my co-workers. "Twilight is the most popular book right now. Think about when Harry Potter was at its most popular. That's Twilight now."

"Is it good?" I asked co-worker.

"It is the worst thing that I have ever read in my life," she replied.

Week after week, I watched eight and nine year old girls (and 50 and 60 year old moms) run into our department.

"DO YOU HAVE TWILIGHT?" they would scream.

I would start to lead them towards the shelf, when said co-worker would gain on us.

"NO! Nononononono, you don't want to read that. Believe me. You don't. Here, read this!" she would say, picking up a copy of Graceling or A Great and Terrible Beauty. "It's so empowering!" Sometimes she was even so desperate to keep these little girls from reading Twilight that she would work on the moms.

"It's inappropriate. Believe me."

Then the moms would nod appreciatively, dragging their girls away from the pictures of Robert Pattinson with copies of Graceling in their shopping baskets.

I would sit in the break-room and complain about it. "I mean, if the customer wants to buy the book, why talk them out of it? If they want it, what's the big deal? Stop being such a book snob! It's just good fun! You shouldn't expect these kids to be reading Jane Eyre. At least they're reading!"

Kids AND their mothers would GUSH to me about Twilight at the registers. After telling them that, no, in fact, I had NOT read it, their reply was always "WHAT!?!?! You have to!!! It's the best thing that you will ever read. I read the whole series in thirty minutes and then re-read them all in twenty. It's so much better than Harry Potter. It's the best thing that I have ever read."

Now that I'm not constructing Sphinxes and Taj Mahals out of copies of Twilight (in fact, we only order about four or five copies of each book in the series now), I decided to bite the bullet (or the neck), sit down, and read the damn thing. After all, it's kind of like a job requirement, right? How can I be a good employee if I am not knowledgeable about one of the most popular books we sell?

So, I checked it out at the library, cracked the brick open, and started reading.

About 100 pages into it, I was hooked. "Wow!" I thought, "This book is really enticing! I can't put this thing down." I went to work and gushed about it. "I'm sucked in! Why was co-worker so anti-Twilight? It's good fun!"

And then, Edward and Bella started dating.

All of my thoughts of, "it's just a fun book!" and, "at least kids are reading," flew out of the window. My copy of the book ALSO would have flown out the window, but I resisted destroying it because it was library property.

Here - one of the bestselling books of, well, NOW - is one of the most disgusting, sexist, chauvinistic things that I have ever read.

I hesitated to write ANYTHING about Twilight, because (a) I know that a billion things have already been written about how bad it is (b) some of my friends loved it and I don't want to question their intelligence (and I don't) and (c) I'm so angry about it that I don't want to waste anymore of my time doing anything that has anything to do with it. But never in my life have I had such a violently negative reaction to a book, and to me that justifies at the very least a blog entry.

This is not fluff, this is not fun, this is damaging, dangerous literature. Not that I'm pro-book-burning or pro-book-banning. I AM, however, pro-empowerment and pro-feminism.

The reasons that this book scares me are the following:

• It encourages dangerous, unhealthy relationships

The relationship between Bella and Edward literally goes from first date to, "I would rather die than live without you," in about five pages. She says on several occasions that life would not be worth living without him, which to me is a fairly risky sentiment to be placing in the minds of young girls who are prone to obsession.

• It encourages weakness

Edward is interested in Bella because she smells good and because he can't read her mind - not because of her intelligence, her convictions, her beliefs, or her abilities. He carries her - literally CARRIES her - everywhere that they go, as if she's incapable of even walking. In one scene, he seduces her into doing what he wants her to do. He yells at her, he tells her what to do, he treats her like she is five years old.

• It sends the message that it's okay to leave your life behind for a man

Bella's life BECOMES Edward. She ignores her friends, her family, and good advice because "they just don't understand!" Her every waking moment is now centered around him - not developing herself, forging her own independence (which is such an important thing at that age), or embracing her individuality.

Essentially, Twilight's message is "You're nobody until a guy likes you."

Not that having a man in your life ISN'T great, but a real man wants you to be strong, wants you to improve yourself, wants you to stand on your own two feet, know what you believe in, and stand up for it. A real man loves your mind. A real man loves your independence. A real man gives you strength, he doesn't take it away.

What has happened to our society that has changed our heroines from people like Jo March and Elizabeth Bennet to Bella Swan? Anne Shirley broke a slate over Gilbert Blythe's head for calling her "carrots!" What would she have done if Gilbert tried to carry her everywhere? Why are we glorifying a weak, unintelligent lemming?

Bella's narration is very real, very much like the way an actual teenage girl thinks, and I will give Stephenie Meyer that. I felt like I was inside the mind of a 15 year-old. She is insecure, obsessive, and willing to please. Yes, this is what most teenage girls are actually like. BUT, does that mean that she is worthy of being looked up to? I remember admiring strong women and longing to be like them, but what happens when girls start admiring and emulating weak girls? Should girls strive only to find a man who will protect them, carry them, and tell them what to do and what to cook instead of developing their own abilities?

"Well, at least young girls are reading." Why is this our reaction? Why do we think so little of the younger generation? Why do we praise them for merely being able to pick up a brick book and read until the last page? Where have our standards gone?

What Would Virginia Woolf Do?

"Hey, 8 year-old customer, I know that Robert Pattinson is dreamy and all, but have you ever heard of A Room Of One's Own or The Second Sex?"

"I told you in the course of this paper that Shakespeare had a sister; but do not look for her in Sir Sidney Lee's life of the poet. She died young--alas, she never wrote a word. She lies buried where the omnibuses now stop, opposite the Elephant and Castle. Now my belief is that this poet who never wrote a word and was buried at the crossroads still lives. She lives in you and in me, and in many other women who are not here tonight, for they are washing up the dishes and putting the children to bed. But she lives; for great poets do not die; they are continuing presences; they need only the opportunity to walk among us in the flesh."

- Virginia Woolf, A Room of One's Own

Hey! Check these out!

• Bite Me! (Or Don't) - Bitch Magazine
  
• The Secrets of the Sparkle
  

Also, watch this! Patti Smith and Virginia Woolf. Strong women of the world, unite!

Awesome Links!

Hey out there, book and tea lovers! Here are some awesome articles and sites that you should definitely check out:

Books! 

• NPR: "Checkout Girl" Anna Sam Cashes In With Bestselling Memoir

• New York Times: Frank McCourt and the American Memoir

• Well Medicated: 45 Beautifully Designed Book Covers

• Chicago Tribune: The magical, mystical path linking book and reader

• Nylon Magazine: Fashion illustrator Ruden Toledo makes it okay to judge a book by it's cover
  

Tea!

• The Republic of Tea's Sip for the Cure Collection

• The Teashop Girls: Tea and Youth Lit

• peacelovetea
  

The Waves & A British Breakfast

For now my body, my companion, which is always sending its signals, the rough black 'No,' the golden 'Come' in rapid running arrows of sensation, beckons. Some one moves. Did I raise my arm? Did I look? Did my yellow scarf with the strawberry spots float and signal? He has broken from the wall. He follows. I am pursued through the forest. All is rapt, all is nocturnal and the parrots go screaming through the branches. All my senses stand erect. Now I feel the roughness of the fibre of the curtain through which I push; now I feel the cold iron railing and its blistered paint beneath my palm. Now the cool tide of darkness breaks its waters over me. We are out of doors. Night opens; night traversed by wandering moths; night hiding lovers roaming to adventure. I smell roses; I smell violets; I see red and blue just hidden. Now gravel is under my shoes; now grass. Up reel the tall backs of houses guilty with lights. All London is uneasy with flashing lights. Now let us sing our love song - Come, come, come. Now my gold signal is like a dragon-fly flying taut. Jug, jug, jug, I sing like the nightingale whose melody is crowded in the too narrow passage of her throat. Now I hear crash and rending of boughs and the crack of antlers as if the beasts of the forest were all hunting, all rearing high and plunging down among the thorns. One has pierced me. One is driven deep within me. And velvet flowers and leaves whose coolness has been stood in water wash me round, and sheathe me, embalming me.

- Virginia Woolf's The Waves

Recommended Tea: The Republic of Tea's British Breakfast

When I think about explaining why I loved this book, I find myself completely overwhelmed. To put it as simply as possible, The Waves is probably the most honest, beautiful thing that I have ever read. I found myself sometimes reading a page two or three times, as if each sentence was a long hot bath that I desperately did not want to get out of.

Someone once said that Patsy Cline's singing voice was the voice that they always dreamed they had - the voice that, they felt, matched their soul. All I could think upon reading The Waves was - if my soul had a voice, I would want it to be Virginia Woolf's. The language is like music, the imagery is vivid, the characters are so real. Woolf once said that The Waves was not about different individuals, but rather about all of the different individuals that live inside of us that are provoked to appear at various points in our lives. There is the social butterfly, the great orator, the mother, the recluse, the outsider - all of these exist within us, and all of these are truthful as they exist within us.

Virginia Woolf understood that human nature - reality - is too complex to be summed up with words, but (miraculously!) she is able to do just that. With this work, Woolf has shown me, beautifully shown me, the truth about life - it is an ocean, and our souls are boats piled full of people attempting to brave the waves.

SPEAKING of The Waves:

Check out clips from The National Theatre's experimental staging of Woolf's novel

The Hours & Pink Grapefruit with Pink Peony Petals

"Mrs. Dalloway said she would buy the flowers herself"

- Virginia Woolf, Mrs. Dalloway

Recommended Tea: The Republic of Tea's Sip for the Cure Pink Grapefruit Tea with Pink Peony Petals 

(a bouquet of Pink Peonies wouldn't hurt, either)

I saw the film The Hours a few years ago. I will go ahead and bravely say that it went right over my head (imagine my hand sweeping over the top of my head right now, because that's what I'm doing and that's what the movie did to me). I knew nothing about Virginia Woolf, nothing about Mrs. Dalloway, and frankly only watched it because Nicole Kidman was awarded an Oscar for it. 

So, after reading Mrs. Dalloway, after growing into Virginia Woolf, hearing her calling me from the bookshelf and then from the pages of Orlando and now from trees and flowers, it was still with a little trepidation that I picked up The Hours at the local library. Was it going to be better than the movie? Was it going to injure my newfound love for Virginia? Instead of hearing Virginia speak to me, would I be picturing Nicole Kidman's prosthetic nose in my mind?

What joy, what bliss, then, to discover the beauty of Michael Cunningham's The Hours. I admit, I couldn't shake the images of Meryl Streep (even though the actual Meryl Streep appears in the book - surprise!) and Julianne Moore. But, I am happy to say, Nicole Kidman's nose took a back seat and I saw Virginia (and her own lovely nose), heard her voice, could even see through her eyes as she looked up through the beautiful and terrifying water. 

For me, the beauty of this book lies in its truth. It explains so vividly what is so terrifying and similarly what is so wonderful about being a living, breathing human being. There is the beauty of the world, ecstatic errands, flowers, making cakes, throwing parties, stolen kisses. Similarly, these things can each hold their own terror. There are also the hours - all of those terrifying hours that stretch out ahead of you for who knows how long. On some days, those hours disappear into the horizon, making it almost impossible to get out of bed. On some days, that horizon seems all too close, uncomfortably close, and the terror comes from the realization that it's closer than you once dreamed. 

But, that is the MOST beautiful thing about the human condition - we all experience that terror and that comfort together. We all both fear and respect death. We can all appreciate the beauty of the sunshine and the fear of the day when we will see it for the last time. 

Michael Cunningham says it best himself:

There is just this for consolation: an hour here or there, when our lives seem, against all odds and expectations, to burst open and give us everything we've ever imagined, though everyone but children (and perhaps even they) knows these hours will inevitably be followed by others, far darker and more difficult. Still, we cherish the city, the morning, we hope, more than anything, for more. Heaven only knows why we love it so.

I also find it worth noting that everything that I have just said, explaining why I loved this book, explains why I loved Mrs. Dalloway. That feeling of interconnectedness is so well presented in both, which is why I think it is so important to see The Hours as a companion for Mrs. Dalloway. They are like cheese and wine or oreos and milk - they bring out the best in each other. Michael Cunningham obviously has a great love for Virginia Woolf and her work, and this is a love letter to her and to the modern readers who love her but wish that they could see her take on the world as it is now. 

So, I would suggest going to your local (independent!) bookstore today, picking up a copy of Mrs. Dalloway, and keeping enough money in your wallet to buy The Hours next week.

But above all else, avoid Nicole Kidman's prosthetic nose.

Hey! Check this out! - Mrs. Dalloway's Literary & Garden Arts

Also, hear Woolf's actual voice below.

Can't Wait To Read! Can't wait to Sip!

"Suck it!"

- Kathy Griffin

What I can't wait to read: Official Book Club Selection: A Memoir According to Kathy Griffin, available September 8, 2009. See Kathy talk about her upcoming book here!

What I can't wait to sip: The Republic of Tea's Little Citizens' Herb Tea Line

With fun flavors like Cherry Apple, Strawberry Vanilla, and Tangerine, I'm craving it and I haven't even tasted it yet! The packaging is beautiful, and a portion of all sales go to benefit Room to Read - only a tea SLASH book lover's dream combination! 

A bit about Room to Read's mission:

"We partner with local communities throughout the developing world to provide quality educational opportunities by establishing libraries, creating local language children's literature, constructing schools, and providing education to girls. We seek to intervene early in the lives of children in the belief that education empowers people to improve socioeconomic conditions for their families, communities, countries and future generations. Through the opportunities that only education can provide, we strive to break the cycle of poverty, one child at a time."