The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance & Sugar Cookie Sleigh Ride

"Believing in God is as much like falling in love as it is making a decision. Love is both something that happens to you and something you decide upon."

- Donald Miller

 
Recommended tea: Celestial Seasoning's Sugar Cookie Sleigh Ride

I remember the moment that I fell in  love with God.

I was born and raised in the South, which means that I was also born and raised in the church. A Southern Baptist church, to be precise. Believing in God was like believing in the sun - it's always there, why question it? 

Then, as the story always goes, I grew up. I moved away from the safe, cozy bubble that never asked questions into a world where questions filled every second of every day - (dun dun duuuun) college!

It didn't help that one of my very first college courses was centered around examining and questioning images of Jesus Christ in the Gospels, in cinema, in art, and in our cultural makeup. 


I remember the first paper that I wrote for that class. One sentence, and I quote, said, "My God is bigger than facts!"


To which my professor replied, in red ink, "um...what!?" 


In a matter of weeks, my faith went from being the center of who I was to being virtually nonexistent. I had trouble justifying everything that I used to believe with everything that I was starting to learn in class. It felt like a knife, stabbing me over and over again, slowly chipping away at the thing that had made me... me.


But then, one day in class, we read Matthew 22:37-40:

Jesus replied:  "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

"Mind" - that tiny little word made all the difference in the world. Could it be that this examining, this questioning, was exactly what I was called, as a Christian, to do? Could it be that God wanted me to ask questions? To use the mind that he gave me? To reason and to think?


All of this time, I had thought that examining my faith under a microscope was wrong. Turns out, it's what I was called to do all along.

That's when I fell in love with God.

Elna Baker writes about all of this in her new autobiography The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance. Now, I have been looking forward to this book for awhile. Last year, after coming home from a grueling day at the bookstore, I sat down to listen to NPR with my husband and happened to catch one of Elna's stories, Babies Buying Babies. This story follows Elna's journey as a recently graduated theatre major who takes a retail job in a kids' store in order to support herself.

"Holy shnikes," I thought. "That's...um... me."

So I went to Elna's website, where it said something a long the lines of "Hey! Elna has a book coming out soon and the title is a really long, complicated one that you won't be able to remember when you get to the bookstore, and also one that booksellers will hate you for not being able to remember."

I searched, using all the high-tech (ba-dum-bum-CHING!) bookstore tools that were available to me as a bookseller.

"Um...New York...Mormon...Dance...Singles"

"Search Results: 0"

"Mormons... in New York... Dancing"

"Search Results: 0"

Needless to say, I jumped for joy when, about a year later, I found Elna's book on the shelf and realized that it was, in fact, real and not something that I had dreamed or hallucinated. It took me about a millisecond to buy it and about a few hours to read the whole thing.

Not only is Elna a recently graduated theatre major who takes a retail job in a kids' store in order to support herself, but she is also a Mormon living in New York City.

And I thought being a Christian at an Episcopalian university was hard.

I loved this book even more than I thought I would (which was a lot). Elna's honesty is enlightening and refreshing, and I found myself wanting to be her best friend so that we could write shows and plays and be actors and Christians and friends and, ya know, cool stuff like that.

But what I liked most about her book was how empowering it was. She loses 80 pounds, she goes on adventures, she stands up for herself, she makes out with a Hollywood star that she calls "Warren Beatty" but who isn't actually "Warren Beatty" (and, for the record, I think it's Sam Shepard... hey Elna if you read this and you want to be my friend you could TOTALLY tell me who it really was. Cool? Cool).

Elna is someone who loves her life and lives it - truly lives it. She seizes opportunities, she says what she thinks, she takes risks. And she does all of these things because of - not IN SPITE of - her faith.

In spite of all of the white noise, all the madness, there is that still, small voice inside. The voice that encourages you to seek, to ask questions, to strive for the best, to strive for the truth. To love your life, to love the world, to love others. The voice that says, "I'm here, and I understand."

It always makes me think of Sylvia Plath's words (as out of context as they may be),

"I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart. I am. I am. I am."

Hey! Look at this!

• Elna Baker's website
• This American Life
• Blue Like Jazz

Kathy Griffin's Official Book Club Selection & Get it Going

"I do not want to die until I have faithfully made the most of my talent and cultivated the seed that was placed in me, until the last small twig has grown."
- Kathe Kollwitz

 
Recommended tea: The Republic of Tea's Get it Going

Please excuse my absence from this blog. I do not have a note from my parents or from my doctor. But I think that my excuse is as good as that: I've been in a play. Well, I've been in a few plays the past couple of months. Needless to say, it has been taking up most of my time (and sanity... in a good way!).

Speaking of acting, you know, it's not easy doing that... acting, I mean. It's hard enough when you're in college and you're doing a crazy uncomfortable scene and you have an acting teacher yelling "step dance! STEP DANCE!" during your scene. It's even harder when you live in a city that isn't New York City, Chicago, or Los Angeles. Of course, I'm sure living in those cities is challenging enough, and presents other challenges that I'm not even aware of, but what's challenging about living here is that there isn't as much professional work to be done. There are three, maybe four major theatre companies in town, and if you don't get cast in a show with them then it's up to you to piece together work here and there. 

What's even harder about that is when you're 5'1", not exactly skinny (something I'm working to change), and 23 years old but look 15. Somehow, there's something about that that just doesn't scream "ingenue!" or "Lady Macbeth!" It can be frustrating, it can be gut-wrenching, but it can also be breathtaking. There's nothing like that moment onstage when you're doing a scene with another actor and you're both completely, 100% invested. I've never done drugs, but I would imagine that it's a lot like that. It's what I breathe for, walk for, live for. Without it, I don't think I'd be able to speak. It is, hands down, the love of my life - and I would walk across the Sahara Desert to perform if that's what it took.

So what do you do when you have the drive, the passion, but no acting job?

What an act of providence that at this point in my life I would pick up Kathy Griffin's Official Book Club Selection. I have always loved Kathy for her honesty. I think that the most important thing about being an artist is being as honest as you can in whatever arena you choose. Not only is Kathy honest about the people around her, which is fantastic and deliciously SCANDALOUS! (exclamation point!), but when things happen in her personal life, she is honest and forthcoming about those, too. She doesn't just talk about celebrities in her book. She talks about her past - dark moments in her past. She talks about love, her losses, her embarrassments, her heartbreaks. She isn't afraid to be honest about herself.

What I didn't realize until reading her book is that Kathy is also a PRO. She has studied her craft, she has worked hard, and she never stops working hard. She attended the LEE STRASBERG INSTITUTE. Yes, the Lee Strasberg that reinvented "the method" and taught Marilyn Monroe, James Dean, and Marlon Brando. Yes, the Lee Strasberg that every serious actor has studied. She also studied with the Groundlings, the Olympics of comedy, and was a cast member there for a long time.

But this is the part that really hooked me. Kathy is a short gal, like myself. Not Brooke Shields. She doesn't scream "ingenue!" or "Lady Macbeth!" but she is EXTREMELY passionate about what she does. She knows that she's the Rhoda, not the Mary. What's more, she doesn't WANT to be the Mary (but who would prefer to be Mary when RHODA'S around? If you would, I don't think we can be friends). So what did she do when Lorne Michaels wouldn't give her a job on SNL? Or when she couldn't get the roles that she wanted? Or when audiences didn't know how to respond to her particular brand of comedy?

She blazed her own path.

She, along with Janeane Garofalo and some others, started a weekly comedy act called "Hot Cup of Talk." They brought a timer onstage, set it to 15 minutes, and when the timer buzzed your act was done and it was time for the next person to come onstage. You could perform whatever material you wanted  for 15 minutes, but you couldn't go over your time and you could never repeat the same material twice (NEVER - not even months or years later).

Soon, audiences started taking notice. This was the gig - the gig she created herself - that got her noticed. She knew what her strengths and weaknesses were, and when she didn't see an available avenue in the entertainment industry she MADE ONE! Not necessarily for "fame," but because she had drive, energy, and the desire to work. People couldn't deny or ignore her talent, because she found the venue that suited it best instead of pretending to be something or someone else.

Kathy made people see that being different was an advantage.

Kathy, you are my hero. 

I will always believe that hard work, creativity, passion, commitment, and intelligence are the most important qualities in an artist. I respect artists who own those qualities, and Kathy is one of them. 

AND I believe that when you are passionate about what you do, you will find a way to do it regardless of the opportunities presented to you. That is success - finding a way to do what moves you.

So stop sitting around, waiting for someone to hand you your dream job! Assess your strengths and weaknesses. What can you do to better yourself? What can you do to make yourself stronger? It's time to take things into your own very capable hands and show the world your beautiful uniqueness. 

Be a Rhoda in a Mary world! 


Hey! Look at this!

• Kathy Griffin's Official Website 
• Kathy Griffin's Twitter 
• See Kathy on Tour! 
• My Life on the D-List - Kathy's Brilliant EMMY award winning reality show!
  

Dolly Parton & Country Peach Passion

"She's a sparrow when she's broken

but she's an eagle when she flies."

- Dolly Parton

Recommended Tea: Celestial Seasonings Country Peach Passion

The picture here is one that I took in my hometown. One day, my mama and I decided that we had an itch, and the only way to solve it was to go antiquin'.

So, we hit up what is locally known as "the antique district," about four or five huge shops in a row, full of everything you can imagine (and lots of things that you can't). 

In every single one of these stores was at least one copy of Dolly: My Life and Other Unfinished Business, Dolly Parton's autobiography. I'm not kidding. EVERY SINGLE ONE. 

Not only that, there were Dolly dolls, Dolly posters, Dolly cardboard cutouts, and Dolly PLATES. My immediate reaction was to laugh. 

And, of course, to take pictures so that people would believe me. 

Never before had I realized what an important role Dolly plays in Southern culture, especially in Tennessee. She grew up in the Tennessee mountains, dirt poor, struggling to make it day to day - just like my own grandmother. In Tennessee, she's not just "Dolly," she's "OUR Dolly."

But then, had I forgotten what an important role Dolly played in my own childhood? I had a framed, autographed (and personalized!) poster of her over my bed. I dressed up like her (complete with the pillows in the dress) almost daily. I recorded her TV specials on the VCR. One of my very first memories is me, in our kitchen, wearing tap shoes, dancing to "9 to 5" and "Here You Come Again." To me, Dolly represented everything glamorous - beauty, confidence, talent, femininity, womanhood. Cinderella Schminderella - give me Dolly!

How strange to find myself at 23 wanting to emulate her all over again.

We've all heard some of her infamous quotes - about how it costs a lot of money to look so cheap, how she left the mountains but took two mountains with her. I admit, I approached her autobiography with some reservations, fearing it would be sentence after sentence of gags like this (not that I don't appreciate a good gag). But I was so pleasantly surprised to find that in those pages, and in the heart of this woman, you find wisdom, humility, genuine love for others, and talent. 

This is a woman who knows who she is and isn't afraid to be exactly that. Who knows her strengths, knows her flaws, and isn't afraid to be blunt and honest about either. Who is so passionate about what she does that every single ounce of her energy is dedicated to honoring, furthering, and perfecting her craft. To put it bluntly, this is a woman with big boobs and even bigger balls. 

 I found out that all of those things that I believed to be true about her when I was 4 are - shocker - actually true. How many celebrities can we say that about? If nothing else, the book is worth reading just to hear her talk about calling Sylvester Stallone an, and I quote, "ungrateful son of a bitch," when he wouldn't help a homeless man who was cold and hungry. Later, after Dolly's talkin-to, Stallone went back to the man, gave him some food and some money, and told Dolly, "you were right." 

Putting Rambo in his place!? What did I tell you - BALLS!

Now, at 23, I want to be like Dolly more than ever before. And you can bet that I regret not buying that Dolly plate when I had the chance.